February 08

the right tools for the right job.

if those space marines had el santo around, the aliens films would have been about two minutes long.
el santo puts the alien through a suplex, a hindenburg, a step-over toe-hold, a superfly, an atomic back-breaker and BOOM!
roll the credits and everyone goes out for churros.
that's a movie i'd like to see.


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January 26

the road to hell.

my friend tammy has decided that i need to be forcibly extracted from my little self-contained sphere of reality.
i'm not entirely certain what her motive is, although i'm sure it's not ulterior... she's too nice for that.
it seems as though there is some sort of 'writer's workshop' scheduled for next week, and tammy is insisting that i accompany her.
her interest in my attendance is based upon the things that i used to write when i used to write the kind of things that i used to write.
what?
(see here for examples... site best read with a clothes-pin on your nose.)
i fail to comprehend her enthusiasm for my work... in fact, when someone compliments me, i immediately consider them to be flawed on some deep, fundamental level.
i don't know.
but apparently, the gist of said workshop is to help individuals get their work published.
my reaction to that was 'what?' and 'why?', followed by a thirty-second farting sound made with my lips.
you don't have to be marshall mcluhan to realize that print is dead.
do these people think their going to get their piece into 'the new yorker'? get a book deal? be in oprah's book club?
(insert lip-farting sound here.)
when i wrote, i had no illusions of being published... i wrote because i felt compelled to write, and the finished story was a reward in and of itself.
now, that could very well be the justification of someone who has never been printed, and maybe it is.
but that's my story and i'm sticking to it, god-damn it!
anyhow, despite my repeated attempts to weasel out of it, i have an inevitable feeling that i will end up at this thing.
just as someday we all must die, someday i will end up at a 'writer's workshop'.
i doubt it will go well... i don't care much for people, and will most likely think even less of their work.
i should probably work on my attitude.
but, i've never been in a fistfight inside of a library before... so maybe it will give me something to write about.


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January 15

i don't get it.



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November 25

sucking in the seventies.



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there's a reason they call it dope.


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November 06

god, i hate this song.



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October 29

just when i thought i was feeling better, here came this.


explanation here.


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October 19

i don't know.



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October 15

oh, my heart.



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October 09

october.


October
by Frederick Seidel

It is time to lose your life,
Even if it isn’t over.
It is time to say goodbye and try to die.
It is October.

The mellow cello
Allee of trees is almost lost in sweetness and mist
When you take off your watch at sunrise
To lose your life.

You catch the plane.
You land again.
You arrive in the place.
You speak the language.

You will live in a new house,
Even if it is old.
You will live with a new wife,
Even if she is too young.

Your slender new husband will love you.
He will walk the dog in the cold.
He will cook a meal on the stove.
He will bring you your medication in bed.

Dawn at the city flower market downtown.
The vendors have just opened.
The flowers are so fresh.
The restaurants are there to decorate their tables.

Your husband rollerblades past, whizzing,
Making a whirring sound, winged like an angel—
But stops and spins around and skates back
To buy some cut flowers in the early morning frost.

I am buying them for you.
I am buying them for your blond hair at dawn.
I am buying them for your beautiful breasts.
I am buying them for your beautiful heart.


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August 27

dancing about architecture.
"writing about music is like dancing about architecture... it's a really stupid thing to want to do."
- elvis costello

elvis is a smart man... must be the glasses.
i spent part of the afternoon organizing some archives, and came across a project i abandoned two years ago.
it was to be a multimedia extravaganza, and here's the cover rough:



the premise was that it would contain about a dozen or so short stories, each based upon songs that i am particularly fond of.
the book would include a cd with all of the aforementioned songs, burned in direct violation of assorted copyright laws.
it was a dumb idea, and died a deserved death.
...but that doesn't mean that we can't poke the carcass with a stick.
the only completed story was this:
today your love, tomorrow the world
based, naturally, upon the titular tune by the ramones.
you can listen to it here, if you'd like.
anyhow, you get the gist... good riddance to bad rubbish.
besides... does the world really need a short story based on 'the ace of spades' by motorhead?
i sure as hell hope not!


6:46 PM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

August 20

whiskey tango foxtrot.

browser compatibility has been the most difficult part of web design.
for example, if you are viewing this site in firefox, there should be large, lovely graphic to your immediate left that probably isn't there.
where'd it go? beats me! it was fine until a week or so ago.
i'm still trying to figger it out... stay tuned.

UPDATE: by jove, i think i've got it. it seems the framistat was cross-wired with the hyper-oscillator, creating feedback in the extruded plastic dingus. whew!


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July 24

i guess you had to be there.

no one else has ever found this funny, but i cherish this video as though it sprang from my loins.
the premise is such: everybody knows that the voice of darth vader has long been provided by james earl jones... a portly, well educated african-american man.
the thing is, when he isn't voicing darth vader, he makes crappy movies... and lots of 'em.
the COMEDIC GENIUS behind this video simply took dialogue from jones' other movies and spliced them over star wars clips.
then, to top it all off, he throws in isaac hayes' version of 'walk on by'.
the pièce de résistance, as the frogs say.
give it a looksie, won't you? and watch the whole thing.
the vader sessions
besides... if you're reading my blog, you clearly have nothing better to do.


12:38 PM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

see you suckers on the golf course.
screw this computer jazz... i'm gonna make the big bucks.
.


8:17 AM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

July 22

i didn't write this, but i wish i had.


"The culprit to whom I refer is not a criminal, but my memory. As I have walked the long and treacherous path of widowhood, I have become exhausted and weary. The vortex of grief has often threatened to pull me under and drown me. There are so many swirling, painful emotions, which assert themselves at any given moment, wanting to suffocate me.

Memory can be a wonderful friend, but also a powerful foe. In order to find peace, I have decided to look forward and leave the sorrowful memories behind. But just when I begin to think that I have put some distance between the painful past and the present, the perpetrator shows its ugly face again. It lies in deceptive abeyance, only to pounce with vicious ferocity without any warning. Each time I think that I am moving in a different direction, I realize that it shadows me wherever I go, like a silent stalker. It robs me of my sleep, haunts my dreams and fills my days with dread.

I know that I have to accept what is and that focusing on the past is not productive. The same is true of my loss and the terror connected with it. I have tried to accept it and make peace with it. It's an act of will, and I have made that decision. BUT, the memory sneers with cruel delight and then drags everything to the forefront again and again - taunting, tormenting.

When I make a decision, I like to act upon it and see measurable progress. I don't like to retrace old territory, unless it leads me through beautiful terrain. The ugly is not worth revisiting. But memory, the hideous repeat offender, strikes time after time, undeterred, it simply won't let go. It mocks and torments me and goes unpunished. I would like to shackle and banish it once and for all."


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July 16

aaaugh.
yesterday a well-meaning friend told me 'you're a good man, charlie brown'.
okay, then.




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June 22

a what's nest?

i just finished designing a bunch of stuff for my friends paul and tammy, fine purveyors of photography, pork, eggs and vegetables.
since i like at least two of those things, i enjoyed working on their project.
go here to find out more:
A Wren's Nest
and also join them at this summer's farmer's market.
i plan on going, as i heard there will be ice cream.


11:25 AM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

June 02

at least they got his good side.



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June 01

THAT'S NOT JELLY



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May 30

not again.



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